Stress

Stress is like cigarettes. It takes a LONG time to kill you. In the meantime, you get to go bald, lose you sight, gain weight, develop heart problems, etc.. yay!

Wouldn't it be cool if when your stress level hits a certain amount, POP! you just explode? Done, no hair loss, no heart problems... just a nice, quiet, peaceful rest.

No constant questions, no one pulling your arm, no one complaining that you're ignoring their 47th question.

Man! I don't know about you, but to me, that sounds sweet.

I tried!

I tried. I really tried! But it's hard not to comment on/about some of these students. It's almost as if they're trying to get on a reality show.

So I have this student... WHO MISSPELLED HER OWN NAME!! How in the world do you misspell your own name?

Okay, you might do by accident. But I pointed it out to her AND SHE STILL DIDN'T REALIZE! I had to point it out THREE TIMES! And then she said "Oh! You're right. I always get that wrong."

Yes, she said "I always get that wrong." HER. OWN. NAME.

Just kill me now. I'm ready.

UGH!

I really, really, REALLY hate stupidity. I love innocence, naivete, childishness, gullibility... But stupidity!? ARRRRG! It drives me up a wall. And people who are stupid "on purpose"... WOOOO! I might have to call in sick the next day.

Now you might be asking "What does he mean by 'stupidity'? No one is born knowing everything." No, I don't mean a person who doesn't know something. That would be ignorance, in the true sense of the word.

Stupidity is when a person KNOWS, has the mental capacity, the information skill set... to figure something out, but doesn't USE it. They don't grow mentally, they don't seem to want to move on from where they are. Sometimes they ask questions to see if you'll give the same answer. Sometimes they ask the same questions to see if they get more than what they're already getting. Sometimes they'll ask the same question as if the information "didn't stick".

"How do I make something bold?" I show the student how to do it. They ask how to save the file. I show her. Somehow, she erases the file, and we start again. She again asks how to bold some text. I show her. She again asks how to save the file. I save it for her, explaining the steps. She calls me over about a minute later because she can't find the file. Yes, she somehow erased it again. We start a new document. Yes, again, she asks how to bold, and, again, how to save the file. Now this is someone who has a "pimped out" MySpace page, a Facebook page, a SideKick (on which she gets text messages all the time), etc.. and she says she figured that out all by herself. So she's not incapable of learning to use computers and technology, so how can she not learn how to bold and save a file?

"Stupidity On Purpose"

If she doesn't have a finished resume, she can't be sent on interviews, and won't have to go back to work, and can stay in this program longer. Not looking at the long-run, it's benefits her to be stupid. But in the long-run, what happens? A learns about a job opening that she REALLY wants (great pay, great location, rubbing elbows with celebrities...), she rushes, RUSHES, to complete her resume. BAM! Done in minutes. BUT!!! She also needs to have a GED. She's been jerking around for months because she didn't want to be forced to get a job. She wants to be sent THIS WEEKEND to take the GED test, BUT 1. she's not ready because she hasn't been doing the work, and 2. the next possible test date is more than two weeks away. She gets upset blames everyone else. She blames me because if I had helped her, she would have had time to study instead of working on her resume for weeks. She blames her basic education teacher because she didn't give her more subjects to study, instead of focusing on fractions and percents (note: she never finished even ONE assignment)

Sometimes people are stupid on purpose, sometimes they're just stupid without putting in any effort at all.

Retention.

It's a very important thing. VERY.

You've heard the phrase "In one ear and out the other". Well, I have a student who is a perfect example of that. Check this out:

me: Sign your name here.
her: What do you want me to do?
me: Sign your name.
her: Where?
me: Right here. where it says 'sign'.
her: Do I sign my name?
me: Yes, your name.
(she's looking at the sign-in sheet for 20 seconds)
her: I don't understand.
me: What don't you understand?
her: What am I supposed to do with this?
me: Sign your name.
her: OH! Okay.
(she signs her name and stares at the sign-in sheet)
her: Okay, now what?
me: What do you mean?
her: What do i do now? Do I keep this?
me: No, it's a sign in sheet. It's for everyone to sign.
her: So what about me?
me: Huh?
her: Where do I sign?
me: Didn't you just sign it?
her: No, someone signed next to my name!
me: Let me see.
(I look at the sign-in sheet and see her name there.)
me: Isn't this your name?
her: Yeah, but I someone must have signed my name.
me: That's not your signature?
her: It looks like it. But when did I sign it? Yesterday?
me: I just saw you signing in a few minutes ago.
her: Oh, I did? I don't remember.
me: Okay, well I'm positive that was you.
her: Alright, if you say so.
(she's standing there, just looking at me)
me: Do you need something?
her: Yeah! What do I do with this now?
(she's holding out the sign-in sheet)
me: Just put it down, so the next person can sign in.
her: Then what?
me: Have a seat.
her: But what do I do with this paper?
me: Just leave it.
her: I don't get it. You want me to have a seat? Where's the teacher?
me: I'm the teacher.
her: OH! I thought someone else was going to teach.
me: I'm the only person who teachers computer class.
her: Isn't there someone else? A lady with a hat?
me: No. Just me.
her: Are you sure?
me: I'm positive. Just have a seat.
her: Should I take this to the office?
me: The sign-in sheet? No, just leave it on the table.
her: But someone signed next to my name!
me: That was you.
her: Are you sure?
me: Yes. I saw you.
her: I don't get it.

Yes, this is for real! Not an exaggeration. Not a nightmare. Not a screenplay.

Please... kill me.

Sometimes... I just want to hit myself.

How does someone take a typing test and get a zero? ZERO words per minute. You have have to absolutely hit not one key the whole time! If you typed 2 words, TWO WORDS, in two minutes, that be one word. I bet if you typed half word, they'd round up to one! DAAAAAAMN!

AGH! I want to scream.

Zero. zero words per minute. Un-flippin-believable.

"What does that mean?"

Today, a student asked me for some email assistance. She said "Would you know why this attachment won't open?" It was some attachment to an email from Nigeria. Someone wanted to send her "a large sums of cash money" (actual quote). She hadn't read the email, so we both laughed when I read that line. (Hint: she obviously knows a bit about the internet and email if she knew about this scam.)

I told her that whatever the attachment was, it was probably wasn't good since it was attached to THIS email. Then I explained why an attachment wouldn't open: "Maybe it looks like it's not opening but is, as in the case of a virus. Or, the computer doesn't recognize what type of file it is." She mentioned something about never having this problem when opening other attachments. (Hint: She's opened other email attachments before.)

Then she asked about why these junk emails were sent to her email address. I showed her the "full headers", and all the emails listed in the "to:" box. She said "Ahh, I usually have that option set on my home computer, so I can see who sent the email and who was receiving it." (Hint: She knows the basics about reading email headers.)

Now here comes the purpose of this post...

Then, she says "For example, what about this email?" She clicks on an email, and reads the subject, "It says 'Let me bang you tonite'. What does that mean?" I'm thinking "How can she not know what that means?" and I realize, she does know. She just wanted me to "explain" it.

Ah, yes, one of the "great" experiences of being a teacher... the flirt.

I say "Well, I think that's a post for an adult website. You know.. sex." She says "Oh, really? Wow. I wonder what it says?" I reply "It's best to just delete those, as they're usually infested with pop-ups and viruses."

Seriously... I mean, COME ON! "What does that mean?"

The Famous Student-Teacher Crush

As a teacher, sometimes an uncomfortable situations arise, such as when a student develops a crush on you. Most often it's because you're in a position of authority and they are confuse that with liking you. There is never a circumstance that one should allow his/herself to get involved with the student. The best thing to do is, recognize the situation, do nothing to feed into it and continue teaching.

Recently, I had a student who seemed to be enamored with me. As usual, I tried my best not to do anything to feed into it, but still be my usual self. I felt bad for her because I think she realized that a relationship could not happen, and was depressed. It was evident that something was wrong. She no longer dressed up and seemed generally "down". She did not have a boyfriend, and wanted someone like me. But no necessarily me. Of course I felt flattered, but my ethics and morals would never allow me to take advantage of such a situation.

She's cheered up recently. I think she might have met someone on MySpace.