Retention.

It's a very important thing. VERY.

You've heard the phrase "In one ear and out the other". Well, I have a student who is a perfect example of that. Check this out:

me: Sign your name here.
her: What do you want me to do?
me: Sign your name.
her: Where?
me: Right here. where it says 'sign'.
her: Do I sign my name?
me: Yes, your name.
(she's looking at the sign-in sheet for 20 seconds)
her: I don't understand.
me: What don't you understand?
her: What am I supposed to do with this?
me: Sign your name.
her: OH! Okay.
(she signs her name and stares at the sign-in sheet)
her: Okay, now what?
me: What do you mean?
her: What do i do now? Do I keep this?
me: No, it's a sign in sheet. It's for everyone to sign.
her: So what about me?
me: Huh?
her: Where do I sign?
me: Didn't you just sign it?
her: No, someone signed next to my name!
me: Let me see.
(I look at the sign-in sheet and see her name there.)
me: Isn't this your name?
her: Yeah, but I someone must have signed my name.
me: That's not your signature?
her: It looks like it. But when did I sign it? Yesterday?
me: I just saw you signing in a few minutes ago.
her: Oh, I did? I don't remember.
me: Okay, well I'm positive that was you.
her: Alright, if you say so.
(she's standing there, just looking at me)
me: Do you need something?
her: Yeah! What do I do with this now?
(she's holding out the sign-in sheet)
me: Just put it down, so the next person can sign in.
her: Then what?
me: Have a seat.
her: But what do I do with this paper?
me: Just leave it.
her: I don't get it. You want me to have a seat? Where's the teacher?
me: I'm the teacher.
her: OH! I thought someone else was going to teach.
me: I'm the only person who teachers computer class.
her: Isn't there someone else? A lady with a hat?
me: No. Just me.
her: Are you sure?
me: I'm positive. Just have a seat.
her: Should I take this to the office?
me: The sign-in sheet? No, just leave it on the table.
her: But someone signed next to my name!
me: That was you.
her: Are you sure?
me: Yes. I saw you.
her: I don't get it.

Yes, this is for real! Not an exaggeration. Not a nightmare. Not a screenplay.

Please... kill me.