"But I need to finish something"

I was getting ready to close the computer lab so I could go to lunch, and I told the students, "Ok, you have five minutes to finish up, because I need to close." Ten minutes later, they're still not packed up. So I restate that I'm closing. Nothing. As if I hadn't really said anything. Not in a disrespectful manner, it was more like they were in their own world.

So I again say that I need to close up. One of them says "Jeez, are you that hungry that you're kicking us out?" I had to say something. "This is my lunch time. I already gave you more time than I was going to. And you're not even doing work, you're shopping online! If we held you in class for even a minute past time, you'd complain. Now I can't even take my own lunchtime? WOW!" But I said it in a joking manner. They got the point, and got out.

"This is for you"

One of the newer students turned and said "Oh, I have something for you, and the other teacher." I thought, "Wow, that's nice." I had helped her with her resume recently.

She handed me an envelope. I turned it over, and it looked like a bill or something. I jokingly asked "Is this a subpeona?" She laughed and said "No, it's a paper for the Breast Cancer Walk, and you can just send a check for two dollars or whatever you want, and it's tax-deductible. You don't have to give it to me, you can just send it in."

She gave me a donation slip! And acted as if she was giving me a gift! I was cracking up, inside of course.

The ones who (almost) push too far

Yesterday, I had an appointment and had to come in late. When I got in, a fellow instructor gave me a "heads up" about someone who's been waiting for me. A former student of the program (from about 3 years ago) was waiting for me for two hours and was a little upset about that. It didn't really bother me, because she was supposed to show up about three weeks ago, and didn't even call to cancel or reschedule.

She needed some help with a PowerPoint project, which I was originally told was for work. I asked her about what she needed, and from there her story was flaky. She told me something about a 12-18 page presentation, her not knowing how to even get started, she can't get any help from the teacher, and then having to wait for me "all morning" (it was more like an hour and a half), blah... blah... blah...

Turns out, she's taking a class somewhere else, and this is only PART of a larger project. Her rush is due to the fact that it was due the next day. Yes, the NEXT DAY. I told her that I couldn't stop to just sit and help her, because I had classes for that afternoon, but that she could sit in for the second class, in which we were starting PowerPoint. She whined about wanting me to sit with her and "help" her (actually she wanted me to sit and do it FOR her) with the assignment. When I mentioned that it was strange that a teacher would give an assignment and not explain how to do it, she said "No, he didn't explain it, and no one can help me." I said "Then there has to be some lab somewhere where you can get help." She replied "Yes, there's a computer lab, but everyone else is doing their thing, I'm the only one who doesn't know how to do this." I told her "There has to be a reason for that, because it can't be that everyone else just magically 'got it' and you didn't. Maybe you missed those classes?" She went off on some tirade about how "they" put her in "that class" that she "didn't even want".

So after offering to let her sit in a PowerPoint basics class, she complained that she "probably wouldn't get much done", and that she needed me to sit with her and "just" help her. Which I couldn't do.

Later she came by about 10 minutes into class, and asked/ complained "You haven't started yet!?" I told her that the students get the first 10 minutes to check their e-mail and practice typing. She said, get this... "Oh! I can't wait ten minutes." Mind you, she's three weeks late for the scheduled appointment to help her, AND this work is due the next day.

"Besides, I've been waiting for you all day." I thought she was joking, but when I looked at her face, SHE WAS SERIOUS! In my head I was saying "HOW DARE YOU!", but I was so shocked, I couldn't help but find this funny. I told her "I don't even know you. I'm doing you a favor. This is an assignment for a class your taking somewhere else. You were supposed to be here THREE WEEKS AGO. You should have asked you teacher for help at that point, if not when you first started. You can't seriously be trying to put this on me? There's a reason why all your classmates know how to do this, you need to talk with your teacher. Besides, even if I cancelled my classes and just sat and did YOUR work, I woudn't have enough time to finish! This is at least ten to fifteen hours of work! You have a presentation to make, a website project, information to research, plus a report! What makes you think I can help you with all that?"

It seemed to be sinking in. Then she says... (while pushing some papers towards me) "Well how am I supposed to explain where this came from?" She had printed some pages of a presentation off the internet along with some pages of the teacher's course companion website. Yes, the teacher had/has a website to help the class. All I could say was "I don't even know where that came from! What is it?" All she kept saying was "How am I supposed to explain where this came from? What am I supposed to say?" Then she left in a huff.

Sometimes, when I think I've seen it all, people can still amaze me.

How many times?

Everytime, without exception, I have my students to sign up for an e-mail address, I tell them to not sign up to receive "free offers" because it's just junk mail. Nothing of any use. Total garbage. I also tell them to ignore all pop-up ads that offer deals too good to be true, like the "Click here to receive a FREE DVD player!!" or "Guess which one is Brad Pitt and win a digital camera!!"

But do they listen? No.

I had one student who kept referring stuff to me. She'd click on some pop-up, then it'd ask her to list 5 friends' e-mails, so NATURALLY she asks me. And when I tell her that I'm not interested in getting more junk mail (who doesn't), she starts sucking her teeth, griping that I won't help her get a free digital camera. The best part is how she realizes that she has my e-mail address on handouts I've given the class, so she finds it and puts it down.

Then when I ask her why she's sending me all this junk mail (it has her e-mail listed as the sender), she denies it. When I show her the e-mail, she "suddenly remembers" that she might have put me down on her form. When I ask her if she received ANY of the things she's "won", of course, complains how "somebody must have messed it up for her", because it was a "sure thing".

I feel like bombing her e-mail account.

Another student complained about how she had received 25 junk e-mails in one day. "How could this happen?" I laughed. When she asked why I was laughing, I explained to her that she signed up for it. That she should have listened to me when I said not to select those "free offers". She said "But I wanted to find cheap plane tickets! Ok, I'll just go back and uncheck them. I can do that right?" I replied "Sure, as long as you have a time machine and you uncheck them it when you signed up for your account." You should have seen her two weeks later when she was getting upwards of 50 pieces of spam a day. After that, she just gave in and signed up for a new account.

In cases like this when students don't listen, I secretly like spam.

Just thinking...

Without fear of losing any "humble points"... when I was hired, the staff seemed to like me right away. Not like "You're so great and wonderful! Thank God for you!". But more like "He's a real nice, helpful guy."

Within the first few weeks or so, I had heard a bunch of stories about the previous instructor. Here's a little backstory on him:

He was an older man, around 45-50. He was tough, with the students as well as fellow instructors and staff. He was a nice man, but he was strict, stubborn, a bit arrogant, and he did things in his own "strange" way. Which could only have resulted in a lot of complaints from students. He was even bossy with the other instructors. For example, he'd "ask" them to step outside of THEIR lounge (it's not necessarily for the computer instructor)while he made a phone call, "Do you mind? This is a personal call. Thanks." Other teachers would have to ask to 1) use a computer, and then 2) ask permission to print! To which he'd sometimes say no, or force them to print on recycled paper.

Ok, so now you have an idea of how he was. Now, although he was "let go", he still works in the same school, but in a different department, so he still pops up every now and then.

Every now and then he'll pop into the computer lab, without asking anyone, and he'll just sit at a computer and print out whatever he needs to print, however many pages it might be. Again, without asking. And he doesn't really seem to care if a class is going on or not, or if he's interupting or not. Or if he's using up the last few sheets of "good" paper or not.

I try to show him him respect, because 1) he's a fellow instructor, 2) he's older man, and 3) he's never pulled any of that crap above with me (which would call for a "revocation of respect"). But I have to wonder... what would he have said if our places were reversed? Would anyone be wrong to point it out to him? Or go to his current workplace do the same? And, doesn't it make him seem like more of a total ass?

I was thinking about this because I just found a floppy disk in one of the computers, with a document with his name on it. So now I'm thinking he may have a key, which takes his "abuse" to a higher level.

Acting "ghetto"

Every now and then, we take the students to an event (a play, a film showing, a gallery, etc..), as a type of "cultural awareness" activity. Now, I do get defensive about "my ladies" (my students are all females) and don't like people talking bad about them, or talking down to them. So, I'm not saying our students are "culturally ignorant brutes who don't know how to act", nor am I saying they are "perfect little angels who always sit with their hands crossed"... let's leave it at "they're a bit rough around the edges".

So while at play, I overheard a few students complaining about something. When I asked what was going on, they said "people are complaining that we act 'ghetto'. I was going to smack her, but I didn't want to make any trouble for you guys." (whew!) Also, I knew a few of the theater students (who were in the audience), and they called my students "kids", in a derogatory manner, well within earshot of my students. (not a good thing)

First, when you're in a play, it's better to have a "ghetto" audience, than no audience. So don't complain about your audience unless they're throwing stuff at you, and then, it might be your bad acting.

Second, if you do have a complaint, don't let your audience hear you BEFORE, DURING, or AFTER the play. It will only influence their preception of your performance.

Third, don't poke an angry dog. If you really believe someone acts "ghetto", then why provoke them? You know it'll just turn out bad, for both of you. AND, it also means you are just as "ghetto" as they are. Didn't your parents' ever teach you it's impolite to critisize people?

Fourth, If you are going to complain about how someone is acting, take the high road! AT THE VERY LEAST don't do the exact same thing you just complained about. Someone next to me complained about how some of my students were stepping over people to get to their seat, that "they should have gotten in earlier" and then said "she's so ghetto, I bet she won't even turn off her cell phone." After the intermission, THAT SAME theater student came back in late and clumped around over people to get to her seat. And then, not FIVE minutes into the play, her cell phone went off! AND, she sat there and text-messaged with someone, while the play was going on!

What was funny is that a few "theater people" (students and staff) were complaining about there not being "any reserved seating for us" (they got there late). Probably because then they'd end up complaining about themselves, and have to actually acknowledge that they themselves act "ghetto".

"Sweety"

Now, before I continue, there are some relevant facts to mention about my students:

1. They're on public assistance, which I only mention because of there are a few who are looking to "upgrade" their partner.

2. Many women in the program are single mothers, therefore some are just looking.

3. Some are pregnant, and are in that short phase where they get easily excited.

4. Some have been in bad relationships, so when they see a guy treating them kindly, they a) like it, and/or b) think it's a come-on.

5. Some have been in REAL bad relationships with REAL bad people. WHY? Why do nice girls get involved with such OBVIOUSLY BAD guys? Why!!?? Now, (I'm not excusing here) I'm not talking about the "young-teen-stupidly-naive" girls, I'm talking about the "over-25-grown-woman-that's-had-three-or-four-serious-relationships" women.

That said, let's start.

I always try to be professional in how I comport myself with the students. I try my best to ever make the students feel like I'm flirting, nor do I make suggestive comments. But sometimes, I (and other teachers) get hit-on, or are the recipients of some big-time flirting.

One student calls me "sweety" and "babe" every now and then. One student mentioned how another teacher was "looking REAL nice" that day. And those are just some of the "regular" flirts. Sometimes we get the "hardcore" flirts, like when someone talks about their "sexual escapades" and such. You hear them saying (just loud enough for you to hear) how "...need a man like him to..." or "...I bet he knows how to make me..."

I usually try to ignore it, and act as if I didn't hear it, but sometimes you just can't. Sometimes, they won't let you ignore it, they'll mention it again, or just come out and ask you if you heard. But there's no way I'll get involved with any of them, not just because it's prohibited, but because it's not right to abuse the teacher-student relationship.

Sometimes, I think they know I'm not going to "go for it" and just want to see my reaction.