COME ON!!!

There needs to be a rule, no one over 300 lbs can wear a thong and mention it. Hey wear it if you want. (Who the hell makes a thong that big!? WHY would you make one that big!?)

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, 1) don't tell me about it, and 2) don't pull and snap the string with your thumb! WHAT IF IT BREAKS!!! OH GOD!!! STOP!!

Parenthood & Personal Responsibility

As a parent, sometimes many times you have to "make the call". You decide to do this activity instead of that one because it's better for your children. Sometimes you do the irresponsible thing because you need a break.

Note: I wasn't involved. I wasn't there. I just heard the story from a few people.

I have one student who decided to go to a ghetto house party, and brought her three (yes, THREE) children with her! The children varied in age from almost two to six years old.

Now the party started around ten, so she got there around nine. When they were tired (after 11PM), she put them in another apartment on another floor to sleep, and went on partying.

She had a few drinks (shots of liquor), a few laughs in the hallway, and soon enough she was drunk and throwing up all over the place. Then the next usual phase of drunkiness is... passing out.

So now it's a few hours after midnight, and the party is winding down (because the police have already been called in 10-12 times for various reason, including two near-fights. Someone has to take this this person home, AND HER KIDS!! Someone gets someone with a ride, they get her and her kids in, the start driving, and... she's so passed out drunk, no one can figure out where she lives!

So, someone decides to take her home, let her sober up and in the morning she can pick herself up (and her kids) and get home.

When they get there, she, of course, vomits some more. The kids don't like sleeping in a strange place, so two cry for a while. One kid is hungry, so someone gets him something to eat. They can't find any diapers for the little one, because the diaper bag was left in the party spot.

In the morning, she wakes up feeling awkward (of course) because she's in a strange place, her kids are laying around. She's in someone's bed, there's vomit stains on the sheets, she's hung over, her clothes are sweaty and messy, the kids are hungry... "disarray" is a good word for the situation.

Now, does she get upset at herself for putting herself in this situation? NO!

She blames the party host, because "she should have taken care of me". Why not? The host threw the party, bought the alcohol, and should have been responsible for the people in the party, right?

There's all this drama going on now because, of course this is like junior high school and everyone has to take a side, and little threats are getting thrown around left and right.

She takes absolutely NO fault in any of this, EXCEPT that she "trusted an irresponsible so-and-so" (read "so-and-so" as any number of curses she spat).

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!!! This is a requirement for parents!!! Didn't she get the memo? Didn't someone tell her? She's making decisions for herself AND her kids? That sometimes you have to sacrifice for them? It's not all about you?

Sometimes you just have to say "I messed up. This is my fault. Let make sure this never happens again."

Jay-Z? JAY-Z!?!

Chick, who do you THINK you're kidding? Because it's not me or any other person in the room. What makes you think Jay-Z would choose you over Beyonce Knowles?

I just had a student say she wanted to put her picture on some page, because "Jay-Z needs to get with this"! Come on! And to say that outloud! And to say it seriously! Someone else giggled when she said it, and she said "I'm serious! I KNOW the Jigga would get with this if he saw me."

Where does this super self-confidence come from?

"Is there anything for me to do today?"

In life, one of the main "directives" of a student is to learn. Many times, it's not just whatever subject is on the syllabus. Sometimes the teacher has other things that they need you to learn.

Sometimes, that includes how to behave properly.

One of my students is a college student, and this seems to give her a sense of "being better" than most of the other students. Often, she'll say something like "Can I sit in the other room? Some of the ladies are kind of loud.", or "The ladies are acting a bit 'ghetto'. Can I work in the corner?" or she'll make comments like "Oh that shouldn't include me." or she'll throw a "you know" at the end of something like she's a peer instead of a student. She'll walk out of the room, to go into another teacher's room and say something like "I already know this subject.", or "I thought it would be okay, since... you know." Sometimes she makes a personal phone call and says "Oh... that was about a job opening."

Well, as usually happens in these situations, she got called on it. They called her into the main office and spoke with her about her behavior. After which, she was all upset, and showed it. She came up to me and asked why I complained about her. But it really wasn't a complaint, it was my feedback on how she's been behaving in classes.

So now she comes in every morning and asks "Is there any work I should be doing?", or she'll ask for permission for everything, to go to the bathroom, to make a copy, to throw out a piece of paper, sneeze... everything.

She's being "overly compliant". I don't care. It's not like I'm going to cry because she's hurting my feelings by being polite.

But my point is, often we learn lessons in life about other things when we don't expect it, and if you're unwilling to accept being corrected or tought something, then you'll be that person who people look at and think "That's ghetto." or "Wow, how did s/he graduate?"

Point is, no one is perfect, be willing to be wrong once in a while. And learn to be better.

Horse Mouth

This is a term I use for people who talk a) very loud, and b) very "street".

I have one student who every now and then, makes a professional call (either for an apartment, a job opening, an appointment, etc..), and she always gets at least one hang up.

Typical call (and I'm guessing the other side of the conversation):

HMouth: HELLO? Y'ALL GOT THAT APARTMENT READY NOW?
Person: Hello? Who is this?
HMouth: YEAH, I'M THA' ONE THAT CALLED YESTERDAY ABOUT THA' APARTMENT.
*click
HMouth: HELLO?

(HMouth calls back)
HMouth: YEAH, I JUST CALLED. I'M CALLING ABOUT THA' APARTMENT.
Person: uhhmm, can you call back tomorrow?
HMouth: TOMORROW? YEAH, OKAY, WHATEVA. BUT CAN I...
*click
HMouth: HELLO?

HMouth: I DON'T KNOW WHAT UP WIT DEZE PEOPLE? IT'S LIKE DEY DON'T WANT TO RENT THEY'S APARTMENT OR SUMTIN'! IF DEY DON'T WANT TO RENT, WHY DEY PUT THAT SHYT IN THE PAPER? YOU KNOW WHAT AH'M SAYING? AAAAIIITE!

Calls for job openings tend to go the same way.

And I always tell her "Try to talk a little lower, people tend not to like it when they're being shouted at." But she always goes back to "Horse Mouthing".

Long break, but I'm back... and stressed more than ever.

Alright... question. How does anyone, ANYONE, think it's okay to burp, OUT LOUD, in a room full of people (who are supposed to be acting at least PARTIALLY professionally), THEN, to complete the act... say, again out loud, "SAWRRY, Y'ALL! WHEW! SMELLS LIKE BALLS AND CORN CHIPS!"

I thought to myself, "Did that just happen? Am I dreaming or something?" And no one (which says something about the people around her) even noticed a thing!

Okay...

1. You KNOW you didn't have to burp that loudly.
2. WHY did your burp smell like "balls and cornchips"?
3. Did you HAVE TO make a comment after burping?
4. WHY did you have to say YOUR OWN BURP smelled "balls and cornchips"?
5. WHY DID YOUR BURP SMELL LIKE "BALLS AND CORNCHIPS"?
6. Why did you have to put that in my mind?
7. Balls.... and cornchips... wtf??? What kind of insane combination is that!!??
8. SERIOUSLY..... WTF???!!!???
9. Balls!?
10. Cornchips!?
11. W... T... F!
    

I was just stunned for most of the day. Like just... in shock.

wow. just... wow.