- You go to work/school in a dingy, stained and/or stretched out t-shirt.
- Your eyes are red and watery when you walk in for the morning AND after lunch.
- You come back from a long lunch, carrying your lunch, to eat at your desk... and it's from a diner across the street.
- You see nothing wrong with announcing to everyone that you have "the f#@%in' munchies REAL BAD!"
- You walked 30 blocks to get "fried scrimps" (yes, "scrimps")
- You see nothing wrong with wearing flip flops all day long.
- You fart, loudly, then announce you may have "the shits".
- You talk to your "man" on speaker phone and he says he'll bring you a little "shumtin-shumtin to shmoke" at lunch, and you don't think anyone knows what that meant.
- You hair is wrapped in a doo-rag, everyday, in the same 2-3 dirty doo-rags you own.
- While claiming to not have any money to pay your Con Ed bill, you're waving your freshly done nails in the air which have actual money enameled on them AND your just got your hair done the night before.
Friday, November 02, 2007
10 Signs That You May Be "Ghetto"
OOOOOH MAN!
Sometimes, I just can't deal with the bullshit. I have a supervisor (a few steps up hierarchy) who is annoying as one can get.
Let me start off by saying she is a very nice, pleasant, cordial person.
That said, she is also very annoying. She is passive-aggressive, sneaky and is completely unprepared to supervise people on subjects she has ZERO knowledge about. She'll question about the merits of what and how I'm teaching (computers) while 1. knowing VERY little about computers, and 2. NEVER having taught anyone, at anytime, about any subject... EVER.
And, she is frustrating as hell.
She will ask you a simple question, you'll give a simple answer, and she'll twist you answer into a tapestry of insane, mind-bending paths. I once went from talking about a memo, to an upcoming meeting, to which coworker is in my room, to what's going on at the moment, to why there's a typo on a handout, to insinuations of hiding something, to thanking me for all my hard work, to questions about coworkers, to "Okay, well have a nice day."
She once asked me to send her some photos of my students, then asked me if I had a signed release form for each student, because "You HAVE to have a signed release form to use their likeness in a photo." I replied that, of course I did. "But that form doesn't mention use on the Internet, so do you have an updated photo release form." So I create a new form, send her a copy, and get the students to sign them. Then, she tells me, "Don't use that new form, because
we have to make sure it goes through the legal department." So I ask when she'll send out the that new form. She says she's not sure, but not to expect it anytime soon BECAUSE LEGAL DEPARTMENT IS STILL REVIEWING THE FORM SHE SENT THEM A MONTH AGO. So I ask "Well why would you ask for photos knowing you can't use them because we don't have a proper 'legal' form?" She then claims she thought I already had it, while at the same time admitting she would have gotten it first for a final review! So now I feel like a schmuck for putting in all that effort into something she knew she couldn't use.
It's times like this, that the supervisors need supervising.
Sometimes, I just can't deal with the bullshit. I have a supervisor (a few steps up hierarchy) who is annoying as one can get.
Let me start off by saying she is a very nice, pleasant, cordial person.
That said, she is also very annoying. She is passive-aggressive, sneaky and is completely unprepared to supervise people on subjects she has ZERO knowledge about. She'll question about the merits of what and how I'm teaching (computers) while 1. knowing VERY little about computers, and 2. NEVER having taught anyone, at anytime, about any subject... EVER.
And, she is frustrating as hell.
She will ask you a simple question, you'll give a simple answer, and she'll twist you answer into a tapestry of insane, mind-bending paths. I once went from talking about a memo, to an upcoming meeting, to which coworker is in my room, to what's going on at the moment, to why there's a typo on a handout, to insinuations of hiding something, to thanking me for all my hard work, to questions about coworkers, to "Okay, well have a nice day."
She once asked me to send her some photos of my students, then asked me if I had a signed release form for each student, because "You HAVE to have a signed release form to use their likeness in a photo." I replied that, of course I did. "But that form doesn't mention use on the Internet, so do you have an updated photo release form." So I create a new form, send her a copy, and get the students to sign them. Then, she tells me, "Don't use that new form, because
we have to make sure it goes through the legal department." So I ask when she'll send out the that new form. She says she's not sure, but not to expect it anytime soon BECAUSE LEGAL DEPARTMENT IS STILL REVIEWING THE FORM SHE SENT THEM A MONTH AGO. So I ask "Well why would you ask for photos knowing you can't use them because we don't have a proper 'legal' form?" She then claims she thought I already had it, while at the same time admitting she would have gotten it first for a final review! So now I feel like a schmuck for putting in all that effort into something she knew she couldn't use.
It's times like this, that the supervisors need supervising.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Been away for a while, needed some time to let some of these stories... "marinate", because sometimes, even I don't believe they happen.
Well, I have a few MySpace stories for you. Here's one:
The other day, one of my students asked me to help her post a new picture on her page (she didn't know how), so as I'm walking her through the process... "Ok, now click 'browse'... Switch to the CD drive..." I see a couple of pictures of her son, she scrolls down, and... BAM! The "private" pictures.
The first is a VERY close-up shot of her rear (in panties). I saw "...uh.." She says "Oh, I'm sorry, those are personal."
Now, at this point, you're thinking the average person is going to scroll away from the pictures. No, she continues to scroll down.
I moved a bit back from the screen, as to not be all up in her pictures, but I see one that might be boobs, another where she's completely nude... and I'M RIGHT THERE! HOW ABOUT WAITING UNTIL I COMPLETELY MOVE AWAY TO CHECK OUT YOUR NUDIE PICTURES!!! DAMN!
I'm trying to give her some space, but she's still asking me what the next step is.
Well, I have a few MySpace stories for you. Here's one:
The other day, one of my students asked me to help her post a new picture on her page (she didn't know how), so as I'm walking her through the process... "Ok, now click 'browse'... Switch to the CD drive..." I see a couple of pictures of her son, she scrolls down, and... BAM! The "private" pictures.
The first is a VERY close-up shot of her rear (in panties). I saw "...uh.." She says "Oh, I'm sorry, those are personal."
Now, at this point, you're thinking the average person is going to scroll away from the pictures. No, she continues to scroll down.
I moved a bit back from the screen, as to not be all up in her pictures, but I see one that might be boobs, another where she's completely nude... and I'M RIGHT THERE! HOW ABOUT WAITING UNTIL I COMPLETELY MOVE AWAY TO CHECK OUT YOUR NUDIE PICTURES!!! DAMN!
I'm trying to give her some space, but she's still asking me what the next step is.
Monday, March 12, 2007
The definition of "ghetto"
Every now and then, we get students who "don't know how to act". Anything can set them off, a look, a bump, a comment, sometimes... even an overheard giggle.
So a new crop of students just came in, and one of the "newbies" was bumped. CODE RED!! CODE RED!!
So, she felt slighted. So she, of course, gave the offender a stare and muttered a few obvious comments to her friend. That set off the next attack, a threat. The offended girl (who also happens to be four months pregnant) says "I'll cut that bitch! I don't give a shit!"
Now threats are THE first step to getting kicked out. That's crossing the line. There HAS to be a talk, and the result of that talk better be good, or else you're out.
So after an initial talk, the two students were brought together to to quash any and all remaining problems... and YES, you are correct! More threats.
It basically ended with "If you weren't pregnant, I'd do you right now!" The pregnant girl replied with THE very definition of ghetto....
"So forget I'm pregnant, and let's do this then!"
Oh man! Two fiery women, a knife and an unborn baby. That's beginning of hot television drama.
Every now and then, we get students who "don't know how to act". Anything can set them off, a look, a bump, a comment, sometimes... even an overheard giggle.
So a new crop of students just came in, and one of the "newbies" was bumped. CODE RED!! CODE RED!!
So, she felt slighted. So she, of course, gave the offender a stare and muttered a few obvious comments to her friend. That set off the next attack, a threat. The offended girl (who also happens to be four months pregnant) says "I'll cut that bitch! I don't give a shit!"
Now threats are THE first step to getting kicked out. That's crossing the line. There HAS to be a talk, and the result of that talk better be good, or else you're out.
So after an initial talk, the two students were brought together to to quash any and all remaining problems... and YES, you are correct! More threats.
It basically ended with "If you weren't pregnant, I'd do you right now!" The pregnant girl replied with THE very definition of ghetto....
"So forget I'm pregnant, and let's do this then!"
Oh man! Two fiery women, a knife and an unborn baby. That's beginning of hot television drama.
Friday, February 16, 2007
I'm not stupid...
This one student came in late today. About an hour and a half late. Then she wanted to go get coffee! She was told that she can't come in late, THEN go get breakfast. (She does this often). We told her that next time, she should pick up her food and then she'll be 5-10 minutes later.
So we let her go get coffee. She takes 10-15 minutes going and coming back. Then she sits outside the computer lab for another 5 minutes drinking it. She takes a look around, doesn't want to do what we're doing, says she needs to stop in the fron office real quick. Another 5 minutes. Then walks in the lab, trying to sneak in her coffee (no drinks allowed at the computers). Finally sits down, gets herself settled, sits for MAYBE 5 minutes, gets up with cell phone in hand, goes to the hallway saying "This is about my child.", and spends another 5-10 minutes talking on her cell. Comes back in and BARELY does any work. Asks what time she can go to lunch. Looks at the attendance book, fills out an excuse memo for the afternoon (because she has to leave early), gets up (hat and coat on) complaining about how hot the lab is. She says she's "getting some fresh air", and leaves.
It's not even 11:30 yet.
She was here for less than an hour, but then wants to get credit for being here all morning. Sorry, that's not how it works.
I saw (and noted) everything she did. I'm not stupid, I just let you think I am. I believe in giving people "enough rope to hang themselves".
Oh, and she also came back from lunch 25 minutes late, and tried to say she was with another teacher the whole time. WHAT-EVER!
This one student came in late today. About an hour and a half late. Then she wanted to go get coffee! She was told that she can't come in late, THEN go get breakfast. (She does this often). We told her that next time, she should pick up her food and then she'll be 5-10 minutes later.
So we let her go get coffee. She takes 10-15 minutes going and coming back. Then she sits outside the computer lab for another 5 minutes drinking it. She takes a look around, doesn't want to do what we're doing, says she needs to stop in the fron office real quick. Another 5 minutes. Then walks in the lab, trying to sneak in her coffee (no drinks allowed at the computers). Finally sits down, gets herself settled, sits for MAYBE 5 minutes, gets up with cell phone in hand, goes to the hallway saying "This is about my child.", and spends another 5-10 minutes talking on her cell. Comes back in and BARELY does any work. Asks what time she can go to lunch. Looks at the attendance book, fills out an excuse memo for the afternoon (because she has to leave early), gets up (hat and coat on) complaining about how hot the lab is. She says she's "getting some fresh air", and leaves.
It's not even 11:30 yet.
She was here for less than an hour, but then wants to get credit for being here all morning. Sorry, that's not how it works.
I saw (and noted) everything she did. I'm not stupid, I just let you think I am. I believe in giving people "enough rope to hang themselves".
Oh, and she also came back from lunch 25 minutes late, and tried to say she was with another teacher the whole time. WHAT-EVER!
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Quick quiz, re: Diss Cussing
That's not a typo. It's not about discussing, it's about dissing and cussing.
Let's say you're on the phone and you forget where you are. First, you start talking a little loud. Then you start cursing. It usually begins with one. Then another, and another. Before long, you're cursing like a drunken sailor, after someone looked at him the wrong way, after his boss just told him off.
Someone finally says something to you, like "Maybe you should take that call outside?"
What do you do?
Do you:
A) Say, "Oh! I didn't realize... I'm sorry.", leave quickly, and finish your call outside.
or
B) Cut your call quickly, a bit embarrassed at your unprofessional and discourteous behavior.
or
C) Give the person a dirty yet questioning look, as if they were some alien, and say "What the hell is your problem? Who is you to say anything to me?", suck your teeth, and continue your call as if nothing ever happened.
If you answered A... you are probably someone who, while considerate enough to realize you may be bothering those around you, is not worried about what they really think of you.
If you answered B... you are probably someone who cares about what those around you think of you, such as co-workers and superiors; and you don't want to project an unprofessional aura.
If you answered C... you're probably too ghetto to even be reading this. And if you are, you probably STILL don't get it, and are dissing me, OUT LOUD, right this minute, even though this is the Internet. You probably even called over an even louder friend who is sucking his/her teeth and telling you "not to worry about it" because I'm some punk who would probably be too afraid to say it to your face. (sprinkle with cursing, for "authenticity")
That's not a typo. It's not about discussing, it's about dissing and cussing.
Let's say you're on the phone and you forget where you are. First, you start talking a little loud. Then you start cursing. It usually begins with one. Then another, and another. Before long, you're cursing like a drunken sailor, after someone looked at him the wrong way, after his boss just told him off.
Someone finally says something to you, like "Maybe you should take that call outside?"
What do you do?
Do you:
A) Say, "Oh! I didn't realize... I'm sorry.", leave quickly, and finish your call outside.
or
B) Cut your call quickly, a bit embarrassed at your unprofessional and discourteous behavior.
or
C) Give the person a dirty yet questioning look, as if they were some alien, and say "What the hell is your problem? Who is you to say anything to me?", suck your teeth, and continue your call as if nothing ever happened.
If you answered A... you are probably someone who, while considerate enough to realize you may be bothering those around you, is not worried about what they really think of you.
If you answered B... you are probably someone who cares about what those around you think of you, such as co-workers and superiors; and you don't want to project an unprofessional aura.
If you answered C... you're probably too ghetto to even be reading this. And if you are, you probably STILL don't get it, and are dissing me, OUT LOUD, right this minute, even though this is the Internet. You probably even called over an even louder friend who is sucking his/her teeth and telling you "not to worry about it" because I'm some punk who would probably be too afraid to say it to your face. (sprinkle with cursing, for "authenticity")
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