WHAT THE? HUH!

This happened the other day... It was the end of the day, and one of the students (let's call her "Dizzy") had just left the classroom, when she suddenly came back in looking confused. "How do I get out of here?" I wasn't sure what she meant. I thought she might be joking. Another student sardonically asked her, "Remember how you got in here? Then go out the same way." Dizzy was STILL confused. She really didn't know how to get out.

Now Dizzy is a student who has a high school diploma, so she isn't uneducated. She must have learned how to perform reverse logical operations. I was amazed, just... amazed.

I said to her, "Well, you have two options. The ground floor will leave you on X Street, and another floor will leave you on Y Street." She replied "No I don't want to go to Y Street." Then stared at me for a while, and asked "Well how do I get to X Street?" I said "I just told you." Dizzy replied "But you said there's a floor that goes to Y Street." "And right before that, I said the ground floor leaves you on X Street." I explained. Then she said "Are you sure? Because you said Y Street the first time."

The other student, who was working on something, jumped in "No, he said the ground floor, I heard him. Just go to the ground floor. That way." and pointed to the elevator. Dizzy, somehow still not sure, pointed in the SAME direction and asked "This way?" The other student said "Yes. That way." After Dizzy left, she said, "She always like that. She does her classwork, but for everyday things, she's always like... dumb." I didn't want to agree, so I just didn't say anything. I couldn't disagree.

"....ooookay."

What do you say when someone, in what's supposed to be a professional setting, tells you something a little too personal? A student asked me for advice on whether to change her phone number. It turns out her boyfriend/husband was away and is coming home, and she'd been unfaithful during his absence. Now she's worried this "new guy" might keep calling.

She was a bit more detailed in telling me her story. Again, I'm not all innocent and naive, but in a professional situation, you're not your usual "casual self".

I was a little shocked, and when I realized I may have been quiet for a half second too long when she said "Oh, I'm sorry, did I shock you? It's just that I don't want any drama."

"But we have class"

Like 99.5% of all students out there, my students usually like to leave early from classes.... except my class, of course. But today, although they still had one more class to go, I mistakenly told them that they were "done for the day" (after my class).

They complained! "But we have one more class!" "We can't go." "I don't want to cut class!" And then stayed in my classroom until the very last minute!

It was like reverse-psychology/stepford wives experiment gone wrong. Almost like they were doing it on purpose to mess with my mind.

The, in their next class, the teacher told me that they were complaining about the day being long and wanted to leave early. I guess whatever drug affected them wore off.

F$#* THAT! Oops!

There are a few students that I think will have a hard time a) finding a job, or b) keeping a job, because they can't stop cursing. Just today, a student was going to a job fair, and was saying "I don't f#%@ing want to go can change!" So I told her to watch her language. She said "Oh! I'm sorry. It just slipped out." The very next thing she said was loaded with cursing, "Yeah, so now f#@&ing I have to find my shoes."

So I again mentioned her cursing, and that to make sure she doesn't curse in front of the interviewers. She again said "Oops! Sorry." And, sure enough, the next thing out of her mouth was more cursing. "That motherf#$@er better have my sh*t!"

I didn't (couldn't) say anything.

Sometimes I just want to scream.

For the billionth time, I helped a student to fix their resume. It's not helping that bothers me. It's the waiting until last minute, then whining when I'm too busy to sit and help JUST that student.

Today was busy: two computers messing up, a coworker's computer kept shutting and she needed it now, a student is asking for some special training, someone's floppy was messed up (because they took it home, like I always ask them not to), two students wanted previous test scores, while another student wants to tell me about her "excitement this weekend". Then this student, who was here all last week, decides she needs help with her resume now, right now, because she's going to an interview tomorrow (which she knew of since last week).

I help her, and she says "See? That didn't take long. Thanks."

Yuck.

I'm actually surprised this hadn't happened up to this point.

It was the end of the day, when a student raised her hand, her face looking a bit anxious. She asked, "Do you have something to clean up with? I had a little accident." I didn't know what she was talking about, until she stood up. I noticed she had wrapped her sweater around her waist.

There was a brownish stain on her chair. My first thought was she dropped some chocolate, and was about to say "Don't worry, I'll clean it up later." when I realized what it really was. She was menstruating, and it had seeped through her clothes onto the chair. I caught myself in mid-sentence, "Don't wor.... ry, I'm sure they have something in the office." I brought her back some tissues and some spray cleaner, and she got to work. I did not relish the idea of cleaning up someone else's bodily fluids.

Later on, I noticed she didn't fully get the stain, so I CAREFULLY and CAUTIOUSLY sprayed some more cleaner and rubbed at the stain.

This is the kind of thing women are supposed to ask each other for help with. Not a guy. Yuck.

The Shrimp returns

I hate the Shrimp. He just annoys me so. If you don't remember, the Shrimp is another teacher who likes to bad-mouth other teachers and whoever he can, as long as he thinks it'll get him ahead, and a friend told me that he was trying to bad-mouth me in the office.

Well, the other day he came to my lab, he was teaching a class in my lab later that night, so he came in a little early. He tried to act friendly, "So how are things?" "Any computers I should watch out for?" and "By the way, was was your class yesterday?" I didn't know what he was talking about. He replied "Oh, nevermind." What happened was that, although he a little guy, he talks in a very passive-aggressive manner. So he told people in the office that if there are any class without an instructor, that they should go to him automatically. Now normally, I don't care, it's not like I'm going to die if I don't pick up an extra class, but this guy acts like it's "kill or be killed". I've even heard him bad-mouthing new teachers just so he'll end up with their classes. I heard him say that another teacher had a "heavy accent that students have trouble understanding" and that "especially computer basic students need to be able to comprehend what the teacher is saying". So I turned and said "What are you talking about? He doesn't have an accent." The Shrimp quickly said "No, I've sat in his class, and he has an accent when he teaches." The when the coordinator looked at him like he was crazy, he said "Well, maybe it's just me?"

Anyway, I heard recently he got caught bad-mouthing the office/program to his students (which he does a lot) and tried to cover it up by saying that he never said that. But someone said "Then where did they get that from? Why would they come in here and say 'he told me that...', unless you did?" He was caught. Now I hear that he's "under a microscope". GOOD! He should have been fired for something he did a LONG time ago. But, I'll leave that story for another post.

HUH!?!?

In class today there was a discussion of breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding, and amongst the usual comments someone said "I think the bottle is better because what if you're dumb, the baby will be dumb." She thought you could pass on your "dumbness" to your baby through breastfeeding! A-mazing, simply amazing.