"Thanks for What?"

I have to give thanks. Thanks for not being related in ANY way to my students.

I have one student (let's call her Agatha) who said that at one family meal she prepared, she poisoned the food! Why, you ask... Her reasoning:

"I was mad at my first baby daddy's mother and her man. They always be disrespecting me in my own home! Talking shit about me in front of my baby and my man! And, he don't be saying nothing either so fuck him too! My baby is five months old. She don't need to be hearing people talk shit about her momma. So I poisoned their food! Not enough to kill them, just enough to make them sick. And they got sick! I hate all their stupid asses!"

And yes, Agatha's still with that guy. And supposedly, the "baby daddy's mother", although she doesn't know Agatha poisoned her, has "calmed down."

I have another student who is a "big girl", tall, tough, athletic... and ghetto. She told me that her boyfriend hit her "Fo' no reason! I jus' said his ass should get a job. And I said it all respeckful, not disrespeck.. at.. all!" So she waited until he fell asleep, then hit him in the head with a frying pan, then punched him as he stumbled to get up, and once he was on the floor, she started kicking him until he gave up! She said he was all bruised and bloody, and made him sleep on the floor, so "he didn't mess up the sheets with his blood".

Yes, she's still with him too.

I just want to give thanks that I don't have to deal with that.